1 tbsp sugar 1 tbsp. agave nectar
Calories 46 60
Total Fat 0 0
Carbs 12 16
Fiber 0 1
Sugar 12 15
Protein 0 0
But many brands of agave nectar are highly refined, containing almost 100 percent fructose, which is a higher percentage than that found in high fructose corn syrup (HFCS). Fructose is a sweetener known to raise triglycerides, promote belly fat, and contribute to fatty liver, obesity, diabetes, heart disease, and high blood pressure. Another thing to note is that some distributors of agave nectar have been labeling HFCS as agave nectar, so the FDA recommends looking for labels that say “hydrolyzed inulin syrup,” which means it’s real agave.
Although both sugar and agave nectar come from plants, both are sweeteners and provide little to no nutrition value. I know it’s not what you want to hear, but sweeteners like these should be used sparingly in your diet. If you’re having a sugar craving, you’re better off reaching for a piece of fruit since the fiber will help with digestion and satiate your hunger.

-From FitSugar

This is a nice post! I wonder what other types of yoga can you best recommend for athletes?

Thanks,

Flynna

Both projected their own anger management issues onto me. One projected their mental health issues, and the other projected a closed-minded attitude.

My stress level and anxiety dropped drastically when the two projecting relationships in question ended.

I’ll work on that article soon!

* Fear: Fear is the main reason why women stay in abusive relationship. Women do not want to go to the police. Women are afraid that if they leave home the abuser may create more problems for them and their children. In some cases, the abuser threatens the woman with dire consequences if they dare to leave home. Due to these threats, some women feel forced to stay in the family relationship and never disclose their abusive relationship to others.

* Dependency: Women are dependent on men for many reasons. The most important factor is economic dependency. In most cases, men do not allow women to work, and they try to make them fully dependent in the financial matters.

Financial dependency is the major dependency that gives rise to other forms of dependency such as emotional and physical. The abusers control the thought processes of the women and force the women to stay in the abusive relationship.

* Social and Cultural Norms: In many cases, women strictly follow social and cultural norms – this is one of the reasons why women stay in abusive relationships. In many societies, it is accepted that wives are subservient to their husbands and should obey them. It is also said that it is wrong for a woman to go against a man.

Social and cultural norms generally do not permit women to leave their homes, irrespective of the situation. Due to social and cultural norms, women make certain adjustments in their lives and prefer to stay in an abusive relationship.

* Family Values: Women are strongly influenced by family values. In Asia, people proudly cite examples of a few women who sacrifice their interest for the interest of the family. Moreover, the women do not want to leave the house, and stay in abusive relationships because of emotional and family values.
“Things could always get worse for me if I leave this bad relationship I’m in.” No, they really couldn’t. Being in a bad relationship is the worse. Being every single day in a million little ways discouraged, dismissed, belittled, ignored, angered, disappointed, condescended to and/or emotionally or physically abused is as bad as it gets. If that describes your life, then congratulations! You’ve bottomed out! From where you’re at, you can only go up. Allowing yourself to be consistently maligned by someone who is supposed to love and support you is hell, pure and simple. There is no place worse than hell. Get out.

Not only that it is not always immediate to get out. You have to plan to get out. You need to set up plans such as, how you are going to leave, where are you going to go, what if he finds you at your next location, get a P.O. Box address so he cannot have access to your mail or locate your new real address, change your phone numbers, are you going to press charges? All of these are plans needed to have a successful exit without harm. Only 5 % of women escape them and survive these types of relationships alive. I was 18 years old at the time and it took me until I was 24 years old to be able to escape my ex free for life. I thank God everyday my family stepped in to help and the law. That’s the other thing, sometimes the law is not always there to help these cases political or not. 50 % of women go back. I can’t tell you how many times the D.A. asked me if I was serious about getting help out of this when I was. Either way, you’re right. It’s not easy to understand especially when you’re in an abusive relationship. I look back and I cannot imagine if I stayed. Like I said, if I did I would not be here to tell about it. I spent months in therapy after. Now in my 30’s, I occasionally have flash backs to specifics of that relationship, but I’m proud to have grown wiser as a women.

It took me a bit of getting used to the vibrations on my nose (for some reason, it made me sneeze the first few times!) but I’ve adjusted. I also got the ‘Plus’, which came with the spot treatment brush head for the body. I had an area of ingrown hairs on my upper thigh that I used the spot treatment on, and it’s almost completely healed now. Great product!

And my cure was to go out in the snow and have a huge snowball fight with everyone I could possibly rope in. And as it happened, there were more adults there than kids. I made a snowman, snow angels, the works.

Whenever you find yourself thinking “I’m too old for that”, do it anyway. (Within reason) Particularly if it’s going to make people raise their eyebrows. You’ll feel a lot younger, trust me.

Go and buy yourselves a Twix (or three), ladies.

:3

A lot of people don’t understand preferring to stay single. One of my biggest supporters in the upper management of our company just shakes his head when we talk about my home life and says, “you’re so pretty, you love sports, you make excellent money and have a great future with the company-why on earth hasn’t some guy latched onto you yet?” He means well, but he’s just firmly entrenched in the idea of a spouse and 2.5 kids being the ideal life.

I understand that my lifestyle isn’t for everyone. Some women thrive on being wives and mothers, and that’s wonderful. I’m just happy that I live in an age where it’s a lot more acceptable to be single and I can be myself.

Just saw the results at Intent.com. Sincere congratulations to you on Best Health & Healthy Living site! Such an honor. I’m delighted I found your blog.

Continued best wishes to you for much joy and success!

Warmly,
A fellow blogger

This has to be one of your most powerful peices. What a gift. I really enjoyed this message, it spoke to my SOUL. This article is very timely for me, because I have a toxic girlfriend in my life that other friends have stepped away from without any real explanation to her. Me being true to me is stepping up and give her some brutal honesty about her meangirl actions. Many of these topics were relavent 10 years ago in our 20s, but now I see her as a single parent trying to relive her harmful past. This article just confirms the fact that I need to address her before we (she and 2 other friends) take a vacation and if this message my message is not well received then I have made up my mind to not go. Thanks for this one!

So before buying whole grain products from market we should check the ingredients in the product as per your tips,that would be helpful to select the right one.

I have remained friends with the guys i have lived with and have better relationships with them now than i ever had when i was their life partner rather than their friend..

I feel that i have forgiven each of them and i have become a better person for this, please dont think i am a wuss because i am not i am a very strong woman, i just feel that as Jesus said on the cross….Forgive them because they know not what they do…It is not for us to Judge the life paths of anyone else it is however our choice how we deal with it when it happens.

I am a very happy positive person and i have a gr8 circle of people in my life, and remember life isnt about how much you can earn or how much you have in the material world, its about how you feel and how you can help others, is loving someone who doesnt conform to the norm wrong…..Its your personal choice and untill we stop listening to what society tells us is the norm and start feeling for ourselves then there will always be victims and abusers instead of what truly should be called people doing the best they can with who and what they have.

Your journey on this earth is as a soul wanting to experience every emotion available, so next time someone is angry with you or hurt ask yourself …what would love do now….Because thats what we all are as spirit…Pure love…..WHAT WOULD LOVE DO NOW…try it you will surprise yourself and make the world a better place by not being so quick to judge…

Love light and Peace…

This article provides an excellent start for self discovery. I recently broke some strongholds over my life at age 33. My mother always made me the responsible one, she would consult me as a child about decisions that were too mature for me, she always weighed me down with her issues. I was so serious and to top it off I’m an accountant. Well life can be dull when you are trying to be perfect and not only that I found I was out of touch with what I truly needed and wanted to be happy. I had to learn to make my own decisions. So from months of seeing a therapist after my Dad’s death, and some great books, and journaling. All 3 just exploded in me being a happier person, 27 pounds lighter, I have met new friends, i have a very active social life, I am changing careers–something that reflects the real me. Aaand I learned it was ok to tell my mother no and I had to get away from aswering the phone. Now I got her “trained”. I felt like I was never taken seriously when I tried to show my creative side or true emotions,now I am aware; now I simply push back all things and people that do not serve me well. I stopped playing into that image and I have matured a great deal! Its articles like these that create personal curiosity and self confrontation! Thank you Lauren and Brett!

Possessing approximately 40% less food energy, xylitol is a low-calorie alternative to table sugar. Absorbed more slowly than sugar, it does not contribute to high blood sugar levels or the resulting hyperglycemia caused by insufficient insulin response.

Studies have shown that xylitol chewing gum can help prevent ear infections; the act of chewing and swallowing assists with the disposal of earwax and clearing the middle ear, whilst the presence of xylitol prevents the growth of bacteria in the eustachian tubes which connect the nose and ear.

Xylitol also has potential as a treatment for osteoporosis. A group of Finnish researchers has found that dietary xylitol prevents weakening of bones in laboratory rats, and actually improves bone density.

Xylitol is a “tooth-friendly,” non-fermentable sugar alcohol. A systematic review study on the efficacy of xylitol has indicated dental health benefits in caries prevention, showing superior performance to other polyols (poly-alcohols). Early studies from Finland in the 1970s found that a group chewing sucrose gum had 2.92 decayed, missing, or filled (dmf) teeth compared to 1.04 in the group chewing xylitol gums. In another study, researchers had mothers chew xylitol gum when their children were 3 months old until they were 2 years old. The researchers found that the mothers in the xylitol group had “a 70% reduction in cavities.” Recent research confirms a plaque-reducing effect and suggests that the compound, having some chemical properties similar to sucrose, attracts and then “starves” harmful micro-organisms, allowing the mouth to remineralize damaged teeth with less interruption.

Xylitol is not only safe for pregnant and nursing women, but studies show that regular use significantly reduces the probability of transmitting the Streptococcus mutans bacteria, which is responsible for tooth decay, from mother to child during the first two years of life by as much as 80%.

Xylitol has no known toxicity in humans.

Sugar shortcuts your body’s energy production. If you want to better energy, cut out the sugars! I was training for a mini-marathon and could not run more than 8 miles (without a snack) until I dropped out sugar, after which my endurance doubled. I was applying advice from “Eat to Win” (Haas).

But the human body is an ingenious mechanism, and has tuned itself for the various areas of Earth and the foods available. In the U.S. we’ve severely mixed this all up — everyone has different macronutrient requirements. The complexity of carbs, types of fats, and forms of protein that can be tolerated by one person is not the same as that of another. And sugar has never been consumed at the levels being eaten today.
Check out “The Metabolic Typing Diet” (Wollcot/Fahey) and “The Ultramind Solution” (Dr. Mark Hyman).

Canned RED Salmon is wild caught. It is better than the farm-raised salmon. Of course the Bisphenol-A that may be in the can lining is not good, but the canned salmon is Omega 3 rich, and artificial color, antibiotic free.

Had you taken any college organic chemistry class, you would already know the above information. Methanol is produced in the body naturally, and as a result, we have mechanisms to break it down. A basic anatomy and physiology class with teach you that, although many people will not listen. People here methanol and think oh no bad!

As for what is in Splenda… Most of it (around 95-96%) is dextrose and maltodextrin. Sucralose is added, which is an indigestible sugar that is manufactured. All three ingredients have been approved as safe by the FDA, as well as other QC committees in the UK (where Tate & Lyle is based). Studies thus far show that a moderate intake of sucralose is not detrimental to human health. It does tend to flush out natural fecal flora, which can easily be remedied by pro-biotic yogurt, or acidophilus supplements it causes you any discomfort. However, complaints of discomfort (constipation mostly) are very small, and based on lifestyle factors and other genetic factors. Just like side effects of Tylenol.. not everyone will experience them.

I do not know the composition of Stevia. They presumably have a website, which I am sure explains how the product is made.

Good luck!

Thank you,
Kathy Martin

THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH SUGAR AND
SUGAR DOESN’T NEED REPLACING!!!

(unless you have allergy, diabetest etc)

We go round and round in circles drying to bend this world so we can satisfy our glutton mentality. But it’s our mentality that needs to change, SIMPLY EAT LESS!!
In that case you can eat whatever you want OF THE NATURAL THINGS (yes, Butter, cheese FULL cheese, etc)(and I don’t mean unnatural triple fat milk wtf is that anyway?!? Cows don’t do that!)
NATURAL PRODUCTS ARE MORE SATISFYING AND WILL KEEP YOU SATISFIED FOR LONGER than those fake foods or unripe vegetables they sell us.

SUGAR ADDICTION doesn’t exist…..it’s a mentality, JUST STOP EATING IT!

Eat when you are hungry, DONT eat when you are not.
Eat only so much that 1/3 of the stomach is filled with food
so that you can fill the other 1/3 with water (drink)
and then have the last 1/3 left so you can breath easy.
VOILA AND LIFE IS GOOD!

G-d help us. I think we all need to boycott all of it!
they will have to provide better food.

better yet! eat from the ground. I am now 71 and farming, stivia.
everything in moderation.
love yourself, then prove it to yourself. GET OFF THE SHIT!

Minerals are lost with every step of refining, foods should be as close to the way God (if you believe in one) created them – they contain the right amount of minerals & fiber in their natural state.

Be careful when buying bread, as its a common trick to label it “whole wheat” when its major ingredient is unbleached flour (which has been sifted to remove the fiber & minerals! – It’s not whole wheat!)

Read “This Famishing World” on the Journey to Forever website – it’s a bit dated but even back in the early 20th century it was becoming obvious the destruction to health that refined deprived foods were causing to humans.
http://journeytoforever.org/farm_library/Famish/famworldToC.html

As for “Splenda”, I don’t know much about it, other than it’s NOT toxic in that sense;
I WOULD like to know more about it, as well as how “Stevia”, (which is simply the same thing as “Splenda”, only made from “turbinado sugar”, rather than “standard sugar”);
Simply put, “Turbinado Sugar” is made from only the “first pressing” of the sugar cane, and isn’t bleached, “calendared” (“sized”), etc., which is why I prefer it;
As far as I’ve known up to this point, “turbinado sugar” is as close to just dipping the sugar-cane in whatever you’re going to sweeten, as much as it takes to get it to the desired sweetness, as it gets, and so I’m confused as to how “Stevia” can be THAT much different than “Splenda”?, when they’re supposed to be made the same way, only one uses “unrefined, unprocessed” sugar, and the other uses “refined”, or at least “semi-refined” sugar as its base ingredient…?
…Or does it?, and if not, then WHY not?

I’d also like to know, just what is and is NOT in “Splenda”, and any similar “artificial” sweetners (including “Stevia”).

(Once I’d learned about “aspartame”, which I’d been avoiding anyway, since it had too many precautionary statements on it for my “taste”, as well as I already suffered from migraine headaches, & then my MD told me that it would or could make my headaches more frequent, & since the meds for migraines are NOT cheap, I found it easier to just avoid anything with “aspartame” in it;

Once I looked at the chemical formula for “aspartame”, {and I’m NOT a Chemist, but I DO know a few things about hydrocarbons, which methanol is one of), I almost wet my pants! Then I called everyone I knew, and I told them what was IN that stuff, and that I’d immediately stopped going NEAR it. (As far as I know, they all did likewise, since we all used to “go racing” together, hence our knowledge of hydrocarbons, especially the ones that are in the range of “fuels”, like “methanol”).

My other chemist-friend looked at the “diagram” of “aspartame”, and their eyes got very big; Then, they went to the cupboard & grabbed a big box of “The Blue Stuff”, put it through a “dying” shredder, then put the resulting powder down the toilet while wearing surgical gloves, and “hosed off” the shredder so that any residual powder also ran into the drain, and was diluted & carried off…
…Which made me wonder why they had suddenly treated it like it was akin to Dioxin or something, when they’d just had it in their coffee, not an hour before…

That’s when they explained that when I thought it looked like part of it was some kind of methanol-based compound, I’d been correct, & they’d then said: “Yup, just like we used to put in the fuel-tanks of our race cars, before it became too hard to get the stuff in quality-controlled batches to make it worthwhile”, (so we’d all switched to a “chemical cocktail” of other hydrocarbons, which kept the fuel’s “knock-point” up, without using any methanol “in the mix”).

Can someone tell me exatcly what “Splenda” IS, and what are the steps in it’s manufacture? Or just what the end-result is & what it “looks like” when diagrammed out?
…I don’t mean I want “trade secrets” or anything like that, I just want to know what goes into the stuff, and what it comes OUT as;
…I was told it was sugar, “with some part removed”, but I’m only familiar with the parts of “Organic Chemistry” that directly involve hydrocarbon-based fuels, like from crude-oil: Propane, Butane, Octane, Pentane, and like that;

It always amazes people when I tell them that there was NEVER any “Octane” in gasoline; It’s called that, but that “octane number” is just a “knock-point number”, which is determined at the Motor-Fuel Testing Lab in Jessup, MD, {among other places, I’m sure}, where a large V-8 engine on a stand & dynomometer, is “fed” different fuels, with the loads and temperatures changed per a pre-determined testing cycle, to determine what the “knock-point” of a given blend & additives-package is;
The chemical called “octane” isn’t, and never has been, used in the blending of gasoline, because there isn’t enough of it in a barrel of crude oil to make more than about 8 fluid ounces, if that much;

On a brief “aside”, How’s this:
We’ve been paying a “Road-Use Tax” of about half the cost of every gallon of “motor-fuel” we buy at the “gas pump”, but not one penny of that money has EVER gone to what it was MEANT for: Road construction & upkeep!
(That “Road-Use Tax” on “Motor-Fuels” includes “diesel fuel”, but Rudolf Diesel’s invention was never intended to run on any petroleum distillates; He ran his prototype on peanut oil!).
Oh, how much we don’t know about the things around us that are killing us.

But back to my original question(s), regarding “Splenda” and “Stevia”: what’s the difference, if a “Splenda”-like substance, (technically known as “sucralose”), is made from refined or semi-refined sugar, (which seems like it’d be a waste of pre-processing, IMHO), or made from “turbinado sugar”, (unrefined, “1st-press” sugar-cane extract, dried & packed “as-is”, without any bleaching, or sizing, etc.)?

Or do I have to go back to saccharin again?

(Short verion of why saccharin didn’t get the “carcinogenic” label that everything else was getting in the 1970’s):
My Uncle had one of his colleagues come in to his office, and said “Max, you and I have both been using saccharin since it came out, that’s about forty-some years ago now, and we’re both in good health, so we KNOW it’s not “carcinogenic”, but if we test it the way we’ve been told to test ALL “suspected carcinogens”, you KNOW it’ll come up as “positive”, and then what’ll we all do? There’s nothing left for people who are diabetic!”
Then he said “I’ve got an idea, and I’ll need you to ’sign off’ on my using 2 weeks, and twenty albino lab mice, & I’ll donate the roll of dimes myself”…
My Uncle said quietly “roll of dimes”? “Well, OK, just make sure you write it up & all the usual stuff, and I’ll sign off on it”, so the other Chemist got twenty healthy albino lab mice, put them in the cage that is divided into two sections, so that they’re breathing the same air, drinking from the same water bottle, eating the same food from the same dish, etc., and started the “standard procedure”, which was to triple-sterilize the samples of a suspected substance, and subcutaneously implant it, (put it under a small flap cut in the skin, then sewn up & bandaged with appropriate antiseptics to avoid infection), of ten of the mice, picked at random from the total of twenty;
He had stopped at the local bank at lunch-time & bought a roll of dimes, and had ten dimes he’d taken from the roll at random triple-sterilized per the “standard procedures”;
Then he implanted the dimes just under the skin of the ten mice that were picked to be the “Test Subjects”, while the other ten were the “Control Subjects”…
In only a few days, all ten of the “Test Subjects” showed lesions, and those were removed & biopsied, & all ten were malignant (carcinogenic);
You can see what was wrong with the test procedure, can’t you?
But that’s what they were supposed to do, so that’s how he did it;

After the results were in, he wrote up his results, and stated in his Findings, that “Based on the Results obtained, there can be no doubt that the 10-cent coin, known as the United States “Dime”, is 100% carcinogenic, and therefore MUST be removed from ALL potential contact with the public IMMEDIATELY, per the standing instructions of the FDA”.

All further testing on everything else “on the list” was immediately stopped, and although saccharin DID get tested, it WASN’T tested in the way that everything that had failed up to that point had been, (which was everything that had been tested using those obviously-flawed methods).

I know it sounds like a “story”, but I can’t make stuff like this up! It’s TRUE!

The “Test Procedures” were revamped completely, and suddenly only the things that were obviously “harmful”, came up as “potentially carcinogenic” after that.

That’s one reason I’m wondering “just what IS ’sucralose’, how is it made, and what makes it any different from the same thing made from unprocessed sugar, as opposed to refined or semi-refined sugar?”,

…Or, why would “Stevia” be any different than “Splenda”, if they’re made the same way, since they’re supposed to be the same thing, only one’s made from “Turbinado Sugar”, and the other is from “standard”, semi-refined sugar…?

…Or have I missed something here?

Thanks for putting up with my obvious lack of 100% of the facts;

As I already know, “A little bit of knowledge can be a very bad thing”…

Phoenix NightOwl, Technical Engineer (ret’d)

For food I buy the Smart Start line of food which has Omega 3. The line is ever expanding from peanut butter to milk and butter. I buy Egglands Best eggs containing Omega 3. I also bought Mega Red Krill supplement containing Omega 3.

These doctors do me no good for my skin disorders. Their drugs and topicals are ineffective. I am managing my health through diet. My skin disorder is caused by a faulty immune system.

But we still have to have some skepticism in considering scientific research: Who stands to profit from a given outcome? Who paid for the study? A company that will profit from a certain finding? A government grant to a university? Or was it done by a or government or non-profit agency?

Just some thoughts to ponder …

Table salt is mined from underground salt deposits, and includes a small portion of calcium silicate, an anti-caking agent added to prevent clumping. It possesses very fine crystals and a sharp taste. Because of its fine grain a single teaspoon of table salt contains more salt than a tablespoon of kosher or sea salt. Sea salt is harvested from evaporated seawater and receives little or no processing, leaving intact the minerals from the water it came from. These minerals flavor and color the salt slightly. However, because these salts are usually expensive, it is worth keeping in mind that they lose their unique flavor when cooked or dissolved. Kosher salt contains no preservatives and can be derived from either seawater or underground sources. Aside from being a great salt to keep within arm’s reach when you are cooking, it is particularly useful in preserving, because its large crystals draw moisture out of meats and other foods more effectively than other salts.

Monsanto Chemical and Seed company in St. Louis, MO can be thanked for causing numerous chronic diseases, diabetes Type 2, Cancer, and death.

Read or find a lecture from Jeffery Smith PROVING scientifically that Monsanto and all genetically modified or GMO foods do make us ill.

70% of the food in our grocery stores are Genetically Modified.

Watch the movie “FOOD, Inc” or “King Corn”

They were able to come up with a slogan that means nothing, yet it will give a casual observer a feeling of benefit.

“I don’t know what he said, but it sounds good to me.”

The ad makes no claim. It’s just gibberish. It cannot be proved or disproved. No one at the F.D.A. can complain.

And (forgive me for saying this)the average sleepwalking citizen will believe/feel that it may be one more nutritional claim that is over their head.

It doesn’t matter if it makes sense or not.

The bottom line is will it SELL MORE PRODUCT?

I’m sure I don’t have to quote you P.T. Barnum.

“There is a sucker….”

W

and Inulina as and adde to every kind of food
Youn can’t imagine how these products improves your over all health

The products came from the agave process yes the one basic for Tequila
and there are some brands from Guadalajara Mexico
if some of you need information please write to me and be glad to give you directions

You might want to look into why stevia cannot be used as a food additive in the US, Europe, and other places before recommending it. Just because it’s “natural” doesn’t mean it’s safe.

We wonder when will the food industry take note, and start reducing salt in their foods.
We rarely eat out because of the salt content in everything on the menus.
Good thing my husband is a great chef…he uses no salt in any of his dishes; The only reason we have a little salt in our pantry is for using as a sore throat soother as in gargling with salt water.

We do wish, however, that the restaurants would get the picture.

My husband always says “the salt salesman should get an award since there’s salt in everything!”

Thanks
Nadine

This is a horrible comparison. If you need 13 Splenda packets to make a dent in your fiber intake, an apple (the equivalent of only 4 Splenda packets) can’t be making a dent either, by your own logic. Everything helps if you’re trying to increase your fiber intake. Someone puts two packets into their morning coffee? Congrats, you’ve just gotten the fiber of half a small apple while remaining calorically well below the what the apple would have cost you (I know most people think of fruit as healthy food, but that doesn’t stop the calories from adding up).

Duane Heppner
Huntington Beach, Ca
714-849-3822

Patricia Green

The Duke study that you referenced about the negative effects of Splenda was refuted.

ByeBEE frozen organic garden trio sweet corn, green beans and carrots
ByeBee frozen organic sweet corn
Almond butter
Organic Spices
Mejol Dates
Organic sliced apples
Whole sliced pineapple
Whole sliced mangos
Organic baby carrots
Earthbound organic Spinach
Earthbound organic Spring mix
Rice milk
Almond milk
Morningstar burgers (can not recall if they were vegan)
Boca burgers
Frozen berries
Amy’s Soups
Organic Quiona
Organic Flaxseeds
Sabra hummus
Baked Lays
Dried fruit
Nuts

In my calculations, I’d need an awful lot of fruits and veggies to get my doc’s reco’d 35 grams of fiber into my body, and I just can’t eat that much food.

Wow–what a great article. I’m clicking over to amazon right now to check out your book.

i know that being a goal oriented person myself, it’s important to me to accept that sometimes my goals need to be placed on hold when other things come up. i used to have problems with that.

today, i’m a bit more flexible and understanding of myself and others when my goals aren’t accomplished on the due date! ha ha! i also know that the first priority is to take good care of my needs, even if it’s just a few minutes of my busy day, just like your experience with your walk. i do my best to set mini goals each day. i tell myself: after this project, i am giving myself this. i give myself mini rewards after i set a mini goal–after i get outta this meeting, i’m getting a smoothie for my commute home. …something i read in a “how to” book in college. i don’t do it perfectly (darn it)! ha ha. i just do the best i can.

…your walk reminded me once again that removing myself from my goal/work is important to do on a regular basis, and on an as needed basis. i deserve that.

…alcoholism is a family disease and i’m learning we all have a part in it. it’s not just the alcoholic who is suffering. …there are 12 step programs for both the families and friends of alcoholics and for the alcoholic that are free, like alcoholics anonymous and alanon. all you gotta do is show up. (they do pass a basket and most people usually contribute a buck or two, to pay for rent of the room, but it’s not expected).

when people are sick, they are sick. we can become sick, too. if we don’t take care of ourselves. guilt, shame, fear of financial safety and other feelings may come into play from preventing us to move on with our lives.

sometimes we can live with active alcoholism. sometimes we can’t, or choose not to. when people are in fear, they usually manipulate and try to control. it is scary to live like this and draining. i’m glad for blogs like this to help us and know there are others who are dealing with similar issues. thanks again.

i remember when my son was little, i said to him, i love you and you are a very important person in my life. however, there are three things mommy needs to do without being interrupted. 1) when mommy’s on the phone, i need to have quiet. i’ll do my best to let you know when i’m making a phone call so we can take care of what you need beforehand. if someone called and needed to talk unexpectedly, i would put them on hold and explained to my son that i’ll be on the phone for a bit. is there anything you need right now? now sure how long it’ll take, etc. 2) when i’m meditating, and 3) when mommy’s in the bathroom with the door closed.

i then asked him if he had any questions. he said what if there is an emergency? i said that’s a great question! unless there is an emergency with you, our cat, or the house or neighbors, please do not bother mommy. we clarified what an “emergency” is, and then i asked him if he had more questions. he said no. i then asked him if he knew what a broken record was. he asked, what’s a record? (it was 1993). i laughed and told him what a record was and said when a record has scratches, it would skip, much like a cd. and the same line would repeat over and over. i shared with my son that i don’t like to sound like a broken record and have to repeat things over and over. since then, whenever we do something (he’s now 21). i (usually) tell him once, we discuss for clarifications if need be, and things go smooth for the most part. and i do my best to listen to him once as well! since we’re both human, mistakes are sometimes made. we’re not perfect (thank goodness) so mistakes are allowed! all we can do is our best.

…i’ve learned that if i try to manipulate an outcome, that’s when crisis begins. if i’m clear about my needs, i feel better about myself, and since i’m not doing things with an expectation from someone else, i’m not setting myself up to cop a resentment.

whether i am requesting a need to a young child or to a peer, i know i have the option to not manipulate or be manipulated today.

Ur advice is so encouraging and i realty would want ur advice personally
on my private issues if u will not mind.
Thanks for every thing.
Toju.

I really like the more positive take on the world and life and try to remember that all these personalities are really people who have issues. Remember though, these are their issues and not yours. Once you take on responsibility for others’ actions and issues like those described above, your life will become toxic. Mine was for a while. I am getting better at cutting the web that they try and wrap you up with – its a much healthier outlook. Good luck and one love to you all.

I KNOW THAT WHEN I HEAR THEN SAY THIS STUFF AND STAND THERE AND JUST LOOK AT THEN…THEY HAVE NO IDEA…THEY HAVE NOT WALKED IN MY SHOES W/ THE TUMOR.

I ALSO ATTRACT THE DRUG USERS, THE ONE WHO LIKE TO PARTY 24/7. I DISTANCE MYSELF FROM EM AND THEN THE NEXT THING I KNOW THERE BACK…TELL ME “JUST” WHAT I WANT TO HEAR…AND THEN THERE GONE. I KNOW THE SOLUTION TO THIS PROBLEM…JUST DON;T LET THEM COME BACK INTO MY LIFE…

ANYWAYS….TRUSTWORTHY…IS THE BIGGEST ON THE 6 TRAITS THAT WOULD BE GOOD!!!!

I have an almost humorous story about boundaries. My next-door neighbor used to take care of the man who lived in my house, in his later years, and all I can figure is she thought he would leave the house to her. When I bought it (from his family), she was still in my yard – well into my yard – watering trees, etc. She thought she was being helpful. Of course, all the trees she planted actually just looked great from her windows and I had to take some of them out! I ended up fencing my property to set the boundary physically.

Now I found out that exterior steps she had added on are over the property line, as well as drainage pipes she buried (shallowly). She really cannot see why I don’t just let her have 5′. Other neighbors, she wakes at 6:00 am to inform them that their trash cans were used by someone else…the neighborhood was woken by the tirade of the man she woke who has a new baby they had finally gotten to sleep. All she said to him was, “Just trying to be a good neighbor!” What I finally realized is that her parents probably had no boundaries with her, so she literally doesn’t understand the concept.

I no longer “hate” her for the intrusions, but am extremely CLEAR with her (and I “invoke higher authority” such as building codes and laws), and use NO emotionality at all. I just repeat and repeat my position calmly and impersonally, with no malice.

And I keep my sense of humor and a little bit of compassion. But I do not give an inch – it would turn into 5′.

but dont worry about it. younger people are, for the most part, looking for the “coolness”, which often is actually “full-of-yourself-ness” or “big-ego-ness”. in time, people do come to see the good in those who exhibit the 6 traits, but it might take a while. dont get discouraged!

im sure youre not a “boring piece of shit”– really, no one is if you actually get to know them. as for a “social issue”, its called maturity. younger people dont like those their age who are more mature. im not sure why. but, again, give it time. most people do grow out of such things. 5 years from now youll probably have a great group of friends who do appreciate these 6 traits in you. just be patient.

I feel that although we bare our souls and are humble, some people seek us out for this reason and take advantage. One more reminder to be mindful of what someone DOES rather than what they SAY they do. I’ll never bow down to cynicism, despite the fact that this happened. Just not worth it, and there are wayyy too many people out there who deserve to be in the company of nice people. It’s just easy to take for granted your good nature, and I had no idea that could ever be hijacked, and realize now that we have to be protective of ourselves as well. Best to all of you!

Einstein: #2. To be tolerant of a bully or an individual who is racist to your own kind would be submitting to their authority, to be tolerant of your government at all times is a dictatorship government…Grow some balls to those who are tolerant and fight for what you believe in, it’s what our founding fathers wanted us to do; for the people to have the power the fight and change what we don’t like.

Abraham Lincoln: #6. To self-humiliate diliberately would be taking away all self-respect and dignity. Sacraficing yourself to satisfy one cruel sense of humor is NOT worth it for NO man.

THIS IS GUD STUFF!!!

Another important trait to have is a sense of humor. Life can be a challenge, sometimes for extended periods. It helps tremendously to maintain a sense of humor and be able to laugh at the absurdities of life and people’s ways, including our own foolishness! I love being around people who can really let themselves laugh — it’s wonderfully contagious.

Thank you for your articles. I stumbled upon them today. The one on Healthy Relationships, especially, is a good reminder of what to look for and to have.

Just stumbled onto your site while eating lunch today. Great work! I really like your site and like how real your advice and information is. You may remember me from the spa world. You and I are both Mary T’s students, and we first met at La Costa at a Cornell tour a few years ago.

I really want to compliment you on a great site/blog, etc. I’m enjoying the articles immensely.

These days, I’m re-married happily and running a small hotel out here on the north coast of California. If you ever get out this way, please do look me/us up.

Best Regards,

Greg Hagin
http://www.searanchlodge.com

Thanx Brett.

Vegetables!

My favorite guacamole dippers – carrots, broccoli, cauliflower, cucumber, and sometimes, mushrooms.

My favorite salsa dippers – carrots (I really love carrots), cauliflower, celery, and fresh raw green beans.

I’ve also found that things people usually consider “dips” – guacamole, salsa, hummus, bean based dips – are really great as additions to main courses, too. I use them sparingly as sandwich spreads to replace low nutrient condiments, as toppings for veggies/meat or tofu/beans, in sauces, even as a salad dressing replacement sometimes.

Some people get it, most don’t. These children are eating more than their bodies need, largely in order to regulate emotions. It wouldn’t matter what they eat too much of (it is not WHAT they eat that is the problem)–but that is where all the focus is. It is not odd, then, that things are just getting worse. Why are you eating, sweetie? Are you feeling hungry? In your tummy? If kids are asking for food, and you are pretty sure they are not physically hungry (ie. just ate a filling amount), suggest playing with them and if still hungry, get a snack. Often our kids come to us for food (or seek it out themselves) when they are not getting the time/attention they want from us. We need to teach them ways of self soothing that do not include food–though most adults need to learn this first themselves.

Stop using the same, failed technique to address a problem–it only makes things worse.

I am not sure why I hung onto the friendship. Looking back, I cant see anyone being that desperate for a friend………lol But for whatever reasons, this year when she came to visit, when she left in one of her drama exits, I made sure she understood she would not be welcome in my life any longer.

I got about 8 emails each one more venomous than the one before. I was ready to fire off a responce when I decided instead of answering her groundless and hateful accusations, I would validate them for her.

I wrote,

I have nothing but well wishes and hopes for you and your future. I look forward to your success and happiness.

So why not take the time that it took you to write this 8 page email and go outside and enjoy your life.
Emma Mae

She never wrote me another email. Wish them WELL and GONE. (Keep the gone to yourself.) Arguing over who is right or wrong, pointing out the truth is wasting your time with a Toxic Freind or Family Member. We have such little time on this earth to do great things, why waste any of it on something that is NOT going to put anything back into your life.

Great Article, Thanks for posting it
Emma Mae/Ameikins

I would have skimmed right over this book as a scam had I not read your review. Thanks!

Healthy eating and exercise in moderation is really the only way to go!

I’m super picky with meat and don’t get nearly enough protein. I drink a protein shake every day that my trainer developed and my doctor approves of, and it also contains flaxseed oil enriched with Omega-3s (I’m allergic to fish so I have to get it that way) and I eat low-fat yogurt daily as my afternoon snack, so I should be okay there.

I too am horrified at the amount of food that I see people eat. I think the skewed view of how much food is necessary contributes to the idea that healthy food is expensive. Yes, a half pound of chicken is more expensive than a half pound of ground chuck. But you don’t need to eat a half pound!

While on the road visiting an ill family member I stopped at a burger joint and ordered a value meal, which I almost never do. I couldn’t finish the burger or the fries because there was so much there, but families all around me were scarfing triple cheesburgers and extra large fries. If they had put the money they just blew on mega-portions of fat and salt towards a reasonable-sized serving of lean chicken and vegetables they’d come out ahead financially.

I am not sure and cannot speak about all toxic individuals, but I don’t know that is necessarily true that they can change. Typically they have been this way their whole entire lives and it isn’t easy to change. The funny thing about the man I was involved with and keep referencing knows he is a “bad” man as he always says, sometimes he even finds it funny that he is a “bad” man. Aside from finding it funny, he does know how he treats people is wrong, he knows what he does is wrong, but he never changes, he just keep repeating his actions. He will fess up to being wrong and says he regrets how badly he treated me and should never have done that but within days he is right back to that same toxic individual. I don’t think there is anything or anyone that will really make him want to change and become a better person. Several times I have tried to discuss, yell, lecture, etc him about how his behavior hurts people and like the article says – I believe it truly falls on deaf ears. I desparately wish this man would and could change because there is a part of him I truly and dearly love and I have been witness to the good man he can be, unfortunately for whatever reason by choice or not, he always returns to being that toxic individual.

Now that you know and have admitted to yourself your flaws, perhaps it is time you share your thoughts with those you tend to hurt. By telling someone, “I was wrong to say/do that,” or “I’m sorry for…” If you manipulate someone, try saying something to the effect of, “I just took advantage of you and I didn’t mean to; here, take back the (examples) money you gave me,” or “Here, I’ll take care of it, I was just being lazy and was trying to get out of it.” I think by expressing your thoughts aloud and to the person it affects, it would be humbling for you and give you a dose of humility needed to work on the new and improved you. By doing so, others would also be aware that you “do” and “are capable” of such negative behaviors and they would be more in tune with you and recognize these. More importantly, YOU now know that THEY are on to you, so-to-speak. Eventually, you just might begin to hesitate to proceed with negative behaviors.

Also, try expressing yourself and ask for forgiveness. I really believe once you open the lines of communication, you will become more self-conscious of the things you say or do and also more compassionate to the needs, desires and feelings of others.

Ask others to correct you and politely express themselves to you too if they have negative feelings because of something you’ve said or done.

In any case, you will both will have a greater appreciation of each other and hopefully it will induce more positive emotions in you and in return a desire to continue with positive behaviors.

As for the “narcissistic” side, try practicing giving a GENUINE compliment to people, even strangers! Learn to tell the people stuck in your narcissistic manipulative webs, “NO, this it not about me. This is your moment to shine, “ or “I made you this gift because I wanted to show my appreciation for all you do for me.” It is a glorious feeling making others feel good; it will make you feel good too knowing you made someone happy or made them smile. Learn to appreciate those things.

Remember, it is a process, so don’t be discouraged if you don’t change overnight. Best of luck to you!!!

What you really want in life is someone who doesnt dwell on good or bad but on balancing all things. These people do not over exagerate and build false hopes and they dont rant and whine all day either. They react and plan according to what is in front of them in life. They focus on the task at hand and usally are the most constructive. They dont tell you everything is gonna be ok only to tell you later sorry, and they dont tell you dont even waste your time. They look at the situation and go can anything be done and if so what. Its not about good and bad its about effectivness its about awareness its about realistic life.

You see what it comes down to is priorities and uppers and downers I just dont have the time for either. Both make excuses both are ignorant both are dilusional both sides focus primarily on things that in the end dont do anything at all.

Yeah avoid toxic people if you can but trust me avoid giddy people as well when an emergency happens or a movie does not dwell on happiness but a “plot” they will only talk about whether it made them happy. BORING……..

Do you smile when an earthquake happens. Nope andwill you be happy when you see the damage, nope. Is it healthy to realease anger and frustration or sadness when this happens yep. Does it do any good to be honest with how you are feeling, yep.

Forget the positive and negative there so out of date and boring.

The more you stay and let him manipulate you, the more respect he will lose for you and worse, the less respect you will have for yourself.

You make the choice and leave the manipulative D.A.

for several years “Vanuatu” was N°1 happiest people on earth, there was a show on NATGEO “the visit of the natives” from the of island TANA, they whent to england etc…

I look at the show and apreciated the mentality of the people, to see how simple minded they are,(in the good way), not worried how to get there next million, are how to get even with there neighbour, are manipulating every one around them.
its a race without stigma, totally confortable with them selves, no shame of who they are…

the people over there care trully about family values, and love for their neighbour.

the systeme we are living in(this world), is turning us in to monsters, people that we do not appreciate, the stress of life, money trouble, the movies-the series on TV are full of violence…

ALL of does things are changing the once beautiful human being in something not beautiful.

A good friend and I were both married to very manipulative men. I used to tell her – as long as you recognize that he’s trying to manipulate you, you’re okay. If you start to BELIEVE all the negatives he’s trying to put on you – that’s when you have a real problem. That’s when you start questioning your values, morals, and core beliefs – meaning that your self-esteem starts to die.

Seeing this list was great. It also made me look at myself to see if I possessed any of these traits. None of us are perfect, but taking stock of ourselves from time to time has to be a good thing.

the change starts within us, its easier said then done, but thats the reality, THE CHANGE STARTS FIRST WITH US.

Used up and thrown away, I’m devastated for you that you came away from your marriage so negatively but remember, it is all about learning. You can find the lesson, the real ones, not the angry ones, and let the experience go. And you can forgive. Yes, you can. It takes time. Just do me a favor, dont make the next woman in your life pay for the last one. I have been there and it is death to a relationship. You just spin your wheels because no matter how much she cares or how good she is to you, it will never be enough cuz somebody has to pay for your hurt. Think about it. Took me over 6 years and a couple beatings in the end to get out cuz I knew I could fix it. NOT!!!! I was never going to be able to make up for what those before me had done. Never no matter how hard I tried. Go figure!

Savannah, honey, admitting it is half the battle. Now start letting the real you develop. I am proud of you.

If I didn’t show my girlfriend that I love her every day, then she wouldn’t want to be in a relationship with me. And rightfully so. We show constant affection to each other in big ways and all the little ways. We care for each other and show it. We don’t need some lame, pseudo holiday to tell us that we should do something that we already do. ALL THE TIME.

That is how your relationship should be. Show each other that you care, respect and love one another every day.

If you come to realize that someone(s) in your life consistently leave you feeling hurt, sad, angry, disrespected, wondering if they care about you & your feelings at all-it’s time to take care of yourself and let them keep all of their cancer-you definitely don’t need it.

That’s what I did, I systematically stopped making excuses for people (that included friends & family) I saw them for who they were & how badly they made me feel & decided “NO MORE!!!”. Since then I have less people in my life but I am MUCH happier.

Sure, will you miss them sometimes? Yeah but will you really miss how crappy they made you feel? If the answer is NO, cutting them from your life & keeping it that way is the right choice-especially when they blame you for things coming to an end or they don’t try to make things better.

There’s a lot of people in the world-find good ones!