I KNOW THAT WHEN I HEAR THEN SAY THIS STUFF AND STAND THERE AND JUST LOOK AT THEN…THEY HAVE NO IDEA…THEY HAVE NOT WALKED IN MY SHOES W/ THE TUMOR.

I ALSO ATTRACT THE DRUG USERS, THE ONE WHO LIKE TO PARTY 24/7. I DISTANCE MYSELF FROM EM AND THEN THE NEXT THING I KNOW THERE BACK…TELL ME “JUST” WHAT I WANT TO HEAR…AND THEN THERE GONE. I KNOW THE SOLUTION TO THIS PROBLEM…JUST DON;T LET THEM COME BACK INTO MY LIFE…

ANYWAYS….TRUSTWORTHY…IS THE BIGGEST ON THE 6 TRAITS THAT WOULD BE GOOD!!!!

I have an almost humorous story about boundaries. My next-door neighbor used to take care of the man who lived in my house, in his later years, and all I can figure is she thought he would leave the house to her. When I bought it (from his family), she was still in my yard – well into my yard – watering trees, etc. She thought she was being helpful. Of course, all the trees she planted actually just looked great from her windows and I had to take some of them out! I ended up fencing my property to set the boundary physically.

Now I found out that exterior steps she had added on are over the property line, as well as drainage pipes she buried (shallowly). She really cannot see why I don’t just let her have 5′. Other neighbors, she wakes at 6:00 am to inform them that their trash cans were used by someone else…the neighborhood was woken by the tirade of the man she woke who has a new baby they had finally gotten to sleep. All she said to him was, “Just trying to be a good neighbor!” What I finally realized is that her parents probably had no boundaries with her, so she literally doesn’t understand the concept.

I no longer “hate” her for the intrusions, but am extremely CLEAR with her (and I “invoke higher authority” such as building codes and laws), and use NO emotionality at all. I just repeat and repeat my position calmly and impersonally, with no malice.

And I keep my sense of humor and a little bit of compassion. But I do not give an inch – it would turn into 5′.

I love Amy’s soups for dinner. I added lightly blanched vegetables and sometimes fresh herbs. Often the soup is enough, though sometimes I’ll add a baked sweet potato, a salad with nuts or a small entree. A singleton at the moment, often the soup is filling enough.

but dont worry about it. younger people are, for the most part, looking for the “coolness”, which often is actually “full-of-yourself-ness” or “big-ego-ness”. in time, people do come to see the good in those who exhibit the 6 traits, but it might take a while. dont get discouraged!

im sure youre not a “boring piece of shit”– really, no one is if you actually get to know them. as for a “social issue”, its called maturity. younger people dont like those their age who are more mature. im not sure why. but, again, give it time. most people do grow out of such things. 5 years from now youll probably have a great group of friends who do appreciate these 6 traits in you. just be patient.

I feel that although we bare our souls and are humble, some people seek us out for this reason and take advantage. One more reminder to be mindful of what someone DOES rather than what they SAY they do. I’ll never bow down to cynicism, despite the fact that this happened. Just not worth it, and there are wayyy too many people out there who deserve to be in the company of nice people. It’s just easy to take for granted your good nature, and I had no idea that could ever be hijacked, and realize now that we have to be protective of ourselves as well. Best to all of you!

Einstein: #2. To be tolerant of a bully or an individual who is racist to your own kind would be submitting to their authority, to be tolerant of your government at all times is a dictatorship government…Grow some balls to those who are tolerant and fight for what you believe in, it’s what our founding fathers wanted us to do; for the people to have the power the fight and change what we don’t like.

Abraham Lincoln: #6. To self-humiliate diliberately would be taking away all self-respect and dignity. Sacraficing yourself to satisfy one cruel sense of humor is NOT worth it for NO man.

THIS IS GUD STUFF!!!

Another important trait to have is a sense of humor. Life can be a challenge, sometimes for extended periods. It helps tremendously to maintain a sense of humor and be able to laugh at the absurdities of life and people’s ways, including our own foolishness! I love being around people who can really let themselves laugh — it’s wonderfully contagious.

Thank you for your articles. I stumbled upon them today. The one on Healthy Relationships, especially, is a good reminder of what to look for and to have.

Just stumbled onto your site while eating lunch today. Great work! I really like your site and like how real your advice and information is. You may remember me from the spa world. You and I are both Mary T’s students, and we first met at La Costa at a Cornell tour a few years ago.

I really want to compliment you on a great site/blog, etc. I’m enjoying the articles immensely.

These days, I’m re-married happily and running a small hotel out here on the north coast of California. If you ever get out this way, please do look me/us up.

Best Regards,

Greg Hagin
http://www.searanchlodge.com

Every day I aim to do something to improve both my physical and mental health, and Amy’s aids in a little bit of both!

My current goal is cutting down on the processed snacks that my 10 year so loves and wants–just like his classmates at school. It’s hard, but I have found means. First I have switched to organic packaged snacks. Now I am making many things, slipping them in here and there as not to create a “cold turkey” effect, rather to bring along. My son loves your Mac-n-cheese and broccoli entree! Replicating them isn’t hard; having some frozen Amy’s entrees available allows him some autonomy when helping himself should I be busy or away

Thanx Brett.

Vegetables!

My favorite guacamole dippers – carrots, broccoli, cauliflower, cucumber, and sometimes, mushrooms.

My favorite salsa dippers – carrots (I really love carrots), cauliflower, celery, and fresh raw green beans.

I’ve also found that things people usually consider “dips” – guacamole, salsa, hummus, bean based dips – are really great as additions to main courses, too. I use them sparingly as sandwich spreads to replace low nutrient condiments, as toppings for veggies/meat or tofu/beans, in sauces, even as a salad dressing replacement sometimes.

Recently a DVD was made of a talk I gave to 100+ people in Chicago on how how a physical body becomes contracted and how to access the energy and compassion to release and transform pain into wisdom. Seeing myself on DVD was an eye opener – I’ve gained a lot of weight since a car accident and this is the time to eat healthier and exercise and regain a slim figure!

To Sara Stanton, I get giddy about brussel sprouts on the stalk too! I love them!

enchantree(at)hotmail.com

Within a week of returning home from the hospital, my son started vomiting. Ridiculous and disturbing amounts of fluid would pour from his mouth, and nose! Apparently he was having a reaction to the dairy I ate.

I switched to organic years ago, and dealt with a lot of ridicule and disbelief. Now I have had to remove all dairy. More ridicule. Limiting gluten, soy, and cutting out refined foods was part of the process to find out what was making him sick. People think I am crazy, but after two weeks, both my son and I feel so much better.

None of the “normal” agitators like cabbage, onions, peppers, citrus, etc bother him, and I am learning how to cook with real food. I still haven’t found a good replacement for cheese though!

Drink loads of water!

I also plan on visiting the farmer’s market each week for local produce, instead of relying on a grocery store who gets their stuff from who knows where.

Enjoy and thank you!

Some people get it, most don’t. These children are eating more than their bodies need, largely in order to regulate emotions. It wouldn’t matter what they eat too much of (it is not WHAT they eat that is the problem)–but that is where all the focus is. It is not odd, then, that things are just getting worse. Why are you eating, sweetie? Are you feeling hungry? In your tummy? If kids are asking for food, and you are pretty sure they are not physically hungry (ie. just ate a filling amount), suggest playing with them and if still hungry, get a snack. Often our kids come to us for food (or seek it out themselves) when they are not getting the time/attention they want from us. We need to teach them ways of self soothing that do not include food–though most adults need to learn this first themselves.

Stop using the same, failed technique to address a problem–it only makes things worse.

I am not sure why I hung onto the friendship. Looking back, I cant see anyone being that desperate for a friend………lol But for whatever reasons, this year when she came to visit, when she left in one of her drama exits, I made sure she understood she would not be welcome in my life any longer.

I got about 8 emails each one more venomous than the one before. I was ready to fire off a responce when I decided instead of answering her groundless and hateful accusations, I would validate them for her.

I wrote,

I have nothing but well wishes and hopes for you and your future. I look forward to your success and happiness.

So why not take the time that it took you to write this 8 page email and go outside and enjoy your life.
Emma Mae

She never wrote me another email. Wish them WELL and GONE. (Keep the gone to yourself.) Arguing over who is right or wrong, pointing out the truth is wasting your time with a Toxic Freind or Family Member. We have such little time on this earth to do great things, why waste any of it on something that is NOT going to put anything back into your life.

Great Article, Thanks for posting it
Emma Mae/Ameikins

I would have skimmed right over this book as a scam had I not read your review. Thanks!

Healthy eating and exercise in moderation is really the only way to go!

I’m super picky with meat and don’t get nearly enough protein. I drink a protein shake every day that my trainer developed and my doctor approves of, and it also contains flaxseed oil enriched with Omega-3s (I’m allergic to fish so I have to get it that way) and I eat low-fat yogurt daily as my afternoon snack, so I should be okay there.

I too am horrified at the amount of food that I see people eat. I think the skewed view of how much food is necessary contributes to the idea that healthy food is expensive. Yes, a half pound of chicken is more expensive than a half pound of ground chuck. But you don’t need to eat a half pound!

While on the road visiting an ill family member I stopped at a burger joint and ordered a value meal, which I almost never do. I couldn’t finish the burger or the fries because there was so much there, but families all around me were scarfing triple cheesburgers and extra large fries. If they had put the money they just blew on mega-portions of fat and salt towards a reasonable-sized serving of lean chicken and vegetables they’d come out ahead financially.

I am not sure and cannot speak about all toxic individuals, but I don’t know that is necessarily true that they can change. Typically they have been this way their whole entire lives and it isn’t easy to change. The funny thing about the man I was involved with and keep referencing knows he is a “bad” man as he always says, sometimes he even finds it funny that he is a “bad” man. Aside from finding it funny, he does know how he treats people is wrong, he knows what he does is wrong, but he never changes, he just keep repeating his actions. He will fess up to being wrong and says he regrets how badly he treated me and should never have done that but within days he is right back to that same toxic individual. I don’t think there is anything or anyone that will really make him want to change and become a better person. Several times I have tried to discuss, yell, lecture, etc him about how his behavior hurts people and like the article says – I believe it truly falls on deaf ears. I desparately wish this man would and could change because there is a part of him I truly and dearly love and I have been witness to the good man he can be, unfortunately for whatever reason by choice or not, he always returns to being that toxic individual.

Now that you know and have admitted to yourself your flaws, perhaps it is time you share your thoughts with those you tend to hurt. By telling someone, “I was wrong to say/do that,” or “I’m sorry for…” If you manipulate someone, try saying something to the effect of, “I just took advantage of you and I didn’t mean to; here, take back the (examples) money you gave me,” or “Here, I’ll take care of it, I was just being lazy and was trying to get out of it.” I think by expressing your thoughts aloud and to the person it affects, it would be humbling for you and give you a dose of humility needed to work on the new and improved you. By doing so, others would also be aware that you “do” and “are capable” of such negative behaviors and they would be more in tune with you and recognize these. More importantly, YOU now know that THEY are on to you, so-to-speak. Eventually, you just might begin to hesitate to proceed with negative behaviors.

Also, try expressing yourself and ask for forgiveness. I really believe once you open the lines of communication, you will become more self-conscious of the things you say or do and also more compassionate to the needs, desires and feelings of others.

Ask others to correct you and politely express themselves to you too if they have negative feelings because of something you’ve said or done.

In any case, you will both will have a greater appreciation of each other and hopefully it will induce more positive emotions in you and in return a desire to continue with positive behaviors.

As for the “narcissistic” side, try practicing giving a GENUINE compliment to people, even strangers! Learn to tell the people stuck in your narcissistic manipulative webs, “NO, this it not about me. This is your moment to shine, “ or “I made you this gift because I wanted to show my appreciation for all you do for me.” It is a glorious feeling making others feel good; it will make you feel good too knowing you made someone happy or made them smile. Learn to appreciate those things.

Remember, it is a process, so don’t be discouraged if you don’t change overnight. Best of luck to you!!!

What you really want in life is someone who doesnt dwell on good or bad but on balancing all things. These people do not over exagerate and build false hopes and they dont rant and whine all day either. They react and plan according to what is in front of them in life. They focus on the task at hand and usally are the most constructive. They dont tell you everything is gonna be ok only to tell you later sorry, and they dont tell you dont even waste your time. They look at the situation and go can anything be done and if so what. Its not about good and bad its about effectivness its about awareness its about realistic life.

You see what it comes down to is priorities and uppers and downers I just dont have the time for either. Both make excuses both are ignorant both are dilusional both sides focus primarily on things that in the end dont do anything at all.

Yeah avoid toxic people if you can but trust me avoid giddy people as well when an emergency happens or a movie does not dwell on happiness but a “plot” they will only talk about whether it made them happy. BORING……..

Do you smile when an earthquake happens. Nope andwill you be happy when you see the damage, nope. Is it healthy to realease anger and frustration or sadness when this happens yep. Does it do any good to be honest with how you are feeling, yep.

Forget the positive and negative there so out of date and boring.

The more you stay and let him manipulate you, the more respect he will lose for you and worse, the less respect you will have for yourself.

You make the choice and leave the manipulative D.A.

for several years “Vanuatu” was N°1 happiest people on earth, there was a show on NATGEO “the visit of the natives” from the of island TANA, they whent to england etc…

I look at the show and apreciated the mentality of the people, to see how simple minded they are,(in the good way), not worried how to get there next million, are how to get even with there neighbour, are manipulating every one around them.
its a race without stigma, totally confortable with them selves, no shame of who they are…

the people over there care trully about family values, and love for their neighbour.

the systeme we are living in(this world), is turning us in to monsters, people that we do not appreciate, the stress of life, money trouble, the movies-the series on TV are full of violence…

ALL of does things are changing the once beautiful human being in something not beautiful.

A good friend and I were both married to very manipulative men. I used to tell her – as long as you recognize that he’s trying to manipulate you, you’re okay. If you start to BELIEVE all the negatives he’s trying to put on you – that’s when you have a real problem. That’s when you start questioning your values, morals, and core beliefs – meaning that your self-esteem starts to die.

Seeing this list was great. It also made me look at myself to see if I possessed any of these traits. None of us are perfect, but taking stock of ourselves from time to time has to be a good thing.

the change starts within us, its easier said then done, but thats the reality, THE CHANGE STARTS FIRST WITH US.

Used up and thrown away, I’m devastated for you that you came away from your marriage so negatively but remember, it is all about learning. You can find the lesson, the real ones, not the angry ones, and let the experience go. And you can forgive. Yes, you can. It takes time. Just do me a favor, dont make the next woman in your life pay for the last one. I have been there and it is death to a relationship. You just spin your wheels because no matter how much she cares or how good she is to you, it will never be enough cuz somebody has to pay for your hurt. Think about it. Took me over 6 years and a couple beatings in the end to get out cuz I knew I could fix it. NOT!!!! I was never going to be able to make up for what those before me had done. Never no matter how hard I tried. Go figure!

Savannah, honey, admitting it is half the battle. Now start letting the real you develop. I am proud of you.

If I didn’t show my girlfriend that I love her every day, then she wouldn’t want to be in a relationship with me. And rightfully so. We show constant affection to each other in big ways and all the little ways. We care for each other and show it. We don’t need some lame, pseudo holiday to tell us that we should do something that we already do. ALL THE TIME.

That is how your relationship should be. Show each other that you care, respect and love one another every day.

If you come to realize that someone(s) in your life consistently leave you feeling hurt, sad, angry, disrespected, wondering if they care about you & your feelings at all-it’s time to take care of yourself and let them keep all of their cancer-you definitely don’t need it.

That’s what I did, I systematically stopped making excuses for people (that included friends & family) I saw them for who they were & how badly they made me feel & decided “NO MORE!!!”. Since then I have less people in my life but I am MUCH happier.

Sure, will you miss them sometimes? Yeah but will you really miss how crappy they made you feel? If the answer is NO, cutting them from your life & keeping it that way is the right choice-especially when they blame you for things coming to an end or they don’t try to make things better.

There’s a lot of people in the world-find good ones!

For those of us that are ’strong’ both in confidence and competence, this method will not melt us to quivering jelly. The only way to be successful in an attack against someone who has stellar skills, loves her job and is respected by those she works with and for…. the bully must use the ‘closet’ and slowly denigrates the employee in the eyes of others. Remove the necessary tools for the job to be done effectively and basically lie their butts off (something that is a natural part of the socio-psycho bully).

I’ve read these comments and was struck by the comment ‘I act like a man…’ but no matter what they say about women’s advances in the ‘man’s world’ – the strong woman is ever the B*t*ch or is labeled ‘Butchy’ by the same bully who she is warding off the attack. I too do not expect my job to provide me ‘friends’ … actually, my job is the reason I don’t keep in touch with the ones I have. But I can say as a manager that advocates for other employees of this company I am amazed at how quickly they become ‘part of the pack’ when the bully approaches them. It’s one of the bad traits of Human Nature.

I went to bat for the girl I mentioned above. She asked me to confirm with the owners some of the things going on. I was the ’star employee’ both with the owners of the company and the GM (as I actually did 90% of his job and mine) until the GM got wind of the various meetings and discussions. Cute girl is off his hot-plate and now I’m the one on it.

That was 7 months ago. It has been beyond hell for someone with my work-a-holic tendencies. I’ve provided 17 pages of documents of what I found in less than an hour online regarding Toxic Work Places and Bullying – how it affects the company’s bottom line and the health issues it creates for the entire group. It had awesome articles from HR sites and Legal sites (remember, ‘bullying’ is not illegal until someone kills themselves over it) and it was my hope they would absorb some of the factoids to allow them to understand just how dangerous it is to ‘do nothing’.

The results?? I spent 2 days (a total of 8 hours) with a lawyer hired by the company to protect them from me!!!!! How sad is that?

I’m still here. Looking for another position – but like many have posted, I am the main bread winner in the family plus I carry the health insurance. So, until then … I will remain strong with Zoloft, calm with Bio-feedback and attempt to deal with stress hives with Benedryl 

My advice would be to leave him because you hit the nail on the head. he will not change, he just tells you that he is going to so that he doesn’t leave you. i know that it is goung to hurt and give you many lonely nights full of tears, but its worth it! and believe me you will find someone better in the long run, but you have to let go of your current partner in order to find the man your looking for.

ive seen way too many women go back to the guy that they leave because he is what they know instead of taking a risk, going out, talking to someone new, and finding the man of their dreams

hope that this helps.

Toxicity is “catching.” The only way to avoid it is to “escape it!”

Consequently, I have become a great “escape artist!” I invest my spare time in creative activity, and ignore most people around me, unless they have something positive to say!!!! It is amazing how much energy comes from hearing other people say something nice!!!!!

I hang a lot with so called religious people that have thier wires crossed or something as they all ways seem to think God is going to handle it. Even though the same book they are reading from reads of war after war where people died. in other words when the going gets rough they usually call on the guys that are having a bad a really rotten day for help…. people they wouldn’t even invite for dinner….

Meditate deeper and understand what all this means and be enlightened that the Creator made all sorts of people for certain reasons. If your one of the bright sided people instead of judging the depressed try helping them see a better way through the lessons of your glasses—- each response above judged another person — yet you were the ones to be happy to get away from the same…. he who is with out sin throw the first stone…..

Pessimist -> Unlucky -> Anxious -> Depressed

I have studied these four words deeply for last few years and I can conclude that they are strongly related. One leads to the other.

My parents are pessmists and I can assure you that they drain my energy every time I see them. I grew up a pessmist, myself. Environmental conditioning sucks, doesn’t it? I inherited pessimistic outlook. I have studied my way of interpreting life and I’m currently working on changin my personal outlook to optimism. It helps a lot being an optimist. Read the book “Learned Optimism” by Seligman, if interested in the topic.

Think of boundaries as clothing. Why do we wear clothes? To keep warm, to protect from the elements, to protect our modesty from the stares of strangers. The purpose of a boundary is for PROTECTION, not EXCLUSION. We can remove our clothes whenever we wish, as with a lover, or in the shower. Boundaries are the same way. With strangers, we have more and wider boundaries than we do with those closest with us. Trust has a lot to do with boundaries. The whole point is that WE choose where our boundaries are, and then ask that others respect that choice. Just as it is wrong for another to tear off our clothes without our consent, it wrong for others to violate our boundaries without our consent and why we feel uncomfortable when they do! In fact, the mere fact that you feel uncomfortable with another’s behavior tells you that they are, in fact, violating your boundary, whether you have a name for that boundary or not. A wall is for shutting the world out, a boundary simply draws the line between where the world ends, and you begin. Some people just don’t understand where they end and you begin and will treat “you” as though you were part of “them”.

For regular cooking you generally can find the Sunflower oil in gallon jugs at some Middle Eastern or India food stores. That also makes good popcorn without the flavoring or color.

Mainstream grocery markets may only sell 32oz and smaller at high prices. Opt for the gallons.

Great tasting vegetarian meal. Easy to make. Very healthy.

1st Excerpt: Saturated fat
Saturated fat is the main dietary cause of high blood cholesterol. Saturated fat is found mostly in foods from animals and some plants. Foods from animals include beef, beef fat, veal, lamb, pork, lard, poultry fat, butter, cream, milk, cheeses and other dairy products made from whole and 2 percent milk. All of these foods also contain dietary cholesterol. Foods from plants that contain saturated fat include coconut, coconut oil, palm oil and palm kernel oil (often called tropical oils), and cocoa butter.

2nd Excerpt: Is butter better than margarine?
Recent studies on the potential cholesterol-raising effects of TFA have raised public concern about the use of margarine and whether other options, including butter, might be a better choice. Some stick margarines contribute more TFA than unhydrogenated oils or other fats.

Because butter is rich in both saturated fat and cholesterol, it’s potentially a highly atherogenic food (a food that causes the arteries to be blocked). Most margarine is made from vegetable fat and provides no dietary cholesterol. The more liquid the margarine, i.e., tub or liquid forms, the less hydrogenated it is and the less TFA it contains.

Recipe came from a chef on PBS

It has probably been two and a half years now since my wife introduced me to this. I even tried polish a few times, mostly clear, but I did try a silver/gray color once and actually liked it myself. My wife thought it looked great, so I will probably try it again!

From now on I will explain that to them, I think. It is the best way for it.

It is so true that we often focus on the negative … and what’s wrong with other people … instead of turning around and assessing what we can do ourselves to be happier!

Even if you are the macho type who just wants to get an upgrade in the foot department so you don’t gross out people whenever you wear sandals, you should really try it!

and the skinny snobs hating on fat people…you better hope you never get sick or hurt and gain wait because of it…nothing worse than cruel superficial morons who judge others by their appearance and assume the dumbest…

when karma slaps you in the face later on, you better not whine about it.

Yes, when we walk the journey of life, small turns can profoundly change us down the road. Please be patient because every little change helps us achieve bigger ones.

Dr. Jennifer Howard

It’s not dangerous at the highest levels IF they use the cosmetic grade dimethecone. It’s not a hazardous material either. A good search on some of the “scary” products out there, will reveal that there is a difference between cosmetic grade and commercial grade.

Non-aerosol hairspray is good based on the lack of chemicals needed to push the hairspray, but there are other chemicals in non-aerosol to keep it from clogging the spray pump, and alcohol is a medium of choice for many (that does NOT have to be cosmetic grade for hairspray) to help it spread evenly. Trading off doesn’t always equal better for you.

Crystal – there are NO regulations for B&B products by ANY company. Organic can be on ANYTHING because technically, ALL chemicals are organic. It’s how it’s processed that determines it’s use. Recycled logos are popular, but you can use as little as 10% post consumer contect to use the full logo. Vegan products aren’t regulated either and most often are not actually vegan. They can put that on the label without being truthful either. For example, a well known company has slapped it on their label, however they use animal BYPRODUCT. Some have substituted dimethecone for… emu oil (in lame terms). Truly to be vegan, emu oil cannot be used but it doesn’t matter to them. They’ve hooked you with their label because technically an emu may not have to be killed to get their oils. HOWEVER, pricewise, a larger company will used post emu oil because it’s cheaper. Beeswax is a very common solidifier in a ton of applications, however it’s not vegan either! Pure emu oil that does not require the death of animals, runs around $200 per lb.

There’s too many things to follow for vegan restrictions and so I do not specifically search it out to provide it because I don’t want to do the false labeling. But not everyone is me, and there are a lot of people in my arena that sell at craft shows and consignment shops that are allowed to put whatever they want on those labels. As long as you have the weight listed within 99% of the product and you label city and state – those are the only labeling laws in the B&B area.

I don’t know where people get the idea that if something is produced by a plant is must not be an evil chemical. Everything is made of chemicals when you get right down to it.

Look, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rebaudioside

My point is not to make everyone freak out about stevia but to point out that anything artificial isn’t automatically bad.

There seems to be, not only a plethora of ingredients/chemicals/additives, but also so many various ‘forms’ and types of one chemical that its exhausting to keep track of them all, as per there properties, uses, contraindications, and conflicting research on how safe they are.

Im quite skeptical as to whether any label that contains more than 7or8 ingredients, (especially when they are in chemical jargon)..actually tell the truth about what’s actually contained in the product. They would perhaps just find the most environmentally and user
friendly-sounding words to use for their labeling..thus being misleading.

It seems two ways of helping to determine authentically organic products are:
1) Determine that the product is not mass produced. This is because specialty/small/niche product companies/producers, while they may sell more costly, tend to be more realistically able and wiling to source and use relatively scarce organic and beneficial ingredients to fulfill the details of their products and more personalized clientele. They would also care a lot about their reputation, because if just a few of their customers leave, that could mean a large percentage of their total customer base. Also, they may be more willing and flexible enough to adapt to changing wants/criteria of their customer base, while standing Firm on their totally “organic” bottomline

2) Try to get a tour/understanding of HOW the product is actually being made (as processing of an ingredient can alter its efficacy); and where it’s ingredients come from…..as the “where” can also make a difference. For example, Brazil nuts are said to contain a high amount of the mineral Selenium, but that’s if the soil contains sufficient selenium in the first place. So if you are using/eating Brazil nuts because of its noted high natural Selenium content, it would help to know where your Brazil nuts were grown (Bolivia, Brazil, etc)..and as to the average soil selenium content there

3) Research the company and any connections (sponsors, brands, endorsements, news publications, owner and his/her prior work experience, etc) it/the owner has with other products and services. This would help validate any claims made by the company, as you would then begin to notice a trend of the company’s history, performance, and genuine intentions (with your discretion). Doing this could seem tedious, but if you’re satisfied with the outcome, you can feel relatively confident in buying from the company later on, without some of the paranoia involved..(but still read and question your labels)

Please continue to make your points and express your careful views on this and any matter….online or wherever..it is important..Take care

I digress – the people against this makes me worried about consumer trickery and safety. It would have created a database of businesses who create, would have allowed some government oversight into cosmetic and B&B claims, allowed them to check into your facility and what you do to decontaminate before production (which I’m almost positive that 80% of home based sellers do not even DO), and would have been able to step in with the large companies and keep them from using products or material grades that aren’t safe. While I don’t mention following other countries often, several of Europe’s countries must follow a banned ingredient list.

While I’m against a lot of government meddling, currently, I can bottle up some battery acid and call it a skin rejuvenation product! Why are people fighting making it mandatory to NOT sell snake oil?

To expand on my point about preservatives, since I was a bit vague, certain parabens are completely safe for you as you noted being plant derivative, depending. However, chemically created parabens, believe it or not are regulated (in production, not in application use) and can be safer than those of plant derivatives. It is required in almost all B&B applications, but we must remember, not everything is toxic, and what is, may not even remotely come close to a dangerous level. But that’s where regulation could come in and put a limit on the exact preservatives, AND make sure people aren’t “over preserving” their products. People can OD and die on water too.

Interesting side fact: All soaps and shampoos at the store, that are mass produced, are NOT soap by definition. They are detergents, which is why so many are irritated by their use. (I’m allergic to “soap” from the store, which is what led me to make my own.) The ingredient list, while many items are safe, in combination are basically a body stripper of all oils so you “feel” clean. And they can label it however they want. And yes, you can actually put paraben free on an item and stick parabens in it anyways. If the percentage is low enough, you are allowed to label it “proprietary blend” and stick whatever you want in there. Or, in a roundabout way, you can stick parabens, or whatever you want, into your fragrance medium and then just label it as fragrance without ever disclosing what you pu