Brett's Blog: Children Obesity…Who’s to Blame?
February 17, 2008 | by Brett Blumenthal | 51 Comments
by Brett Blumenthal
I don’t have children. I’m not sure when I will have children, but I do know that when I do, health, both mental and physical, will be an important part of my raising them and teaching them about life.
This morning, I had an interesting dialogue with my family about legal action and laws around childhood obesity. Across the US, there are numerous strategies being implemented or being considered to address childhood obesity head-on. Some programs take a preventative approach by offering healthy options in the school cafeteria, while others take a more aggressive approach by disceminating BMI (Body Mass Index) Report Cards to parents when their children have either too low or too high of a BMI score; and others, take an even more drastic approach of accusing parents of child abuse and neglect.
I have to wonder, what approach is most effective? Do we wake up parents to the urgency of the situation by placing the blame on them? Do we humiliate children to get them to understand that they are at risk for being overweight as adults? Do we risk causing eating disorders and lifelong self-esteem issues among children and teens by negatively exposing them and their problem? Or do we hope with all of our might that the cafeteria’s lunch offerings will be enough for them to learn? There isn’t really a perfect answer, as every individual responds to things differently, and children, even more so. So what do we do? How do we attack an increasing epidemic?
For the most part, I believe that parents are most responsible for their children’s health. Assuming a parent is an active participant in their child’s life, it is safe to say that from the time a child is born up until the time they go to school, parents are the most influential in teaching them right from wrong, good from bad, healthy from unhealthy. If a solid foundation is laid, there is a good chance that children will make the right decisions when they leave the nest. That said, if a child doesn’t get that education at home, I do believe that parents need to be counseled, warned and maybe even fined if a child has an ongoing problem. They are their caretakers and guardians, and they need to be held responsible.
But how can you hold someone responsible, when they don’t even understand the problem themselves?
First off, with 66% of American adults overweight or obese, there is a good chance that many obese children have parents who are overweight as well. Secondly, many parents have a truly distorted view of their child’s weight problems. In a survey conducted in 2007 exclusively by Knowledge Networks, Inc, for C.S. Mott Children’s Hospital, it was shown that only 13% of parents with obese children ages 6 to 11 rated their child as being “very overweight” while over 40% of the parents rated their children’s weight status as “about right.” 40%! Parents of older children (12 – 17), however, seemed to have greater awareness with 31% of parents of obese children saying their children are “very overweight,” 56% saying “slightly overweight” and 11% saying “about the right weight.”
Parents have to take action and responsibility early on, not just for their children, but for themselves as well. If they can’t lead by example, then children are only going to perpetuate their parents’ unhealthy habits. Further, parents need to face the reality of the situation, and admit that their children may have a problem and may be at high risk for early onset medical issues, such as asthma and heart disease. More and more children, as well as adults, are becoming less and less active. We can thank media, video games and the internet for that. Children have enough growing pains as it is, it isn’t right for parents to subject them to ridicule, possible physical health issues and even worse, mental health issues. Children need role models…and yes, that in my mind, starts with the parents.
Brianna
Personally i blame my mother. as a child she overfed me. i remember i use to tell her i was full. but she would insist i eat more. she would get mad if i did not finish my plate. an hour later she would insist i eat some other snack.i was also emotionally and physically abused. as a teen i had a eating disorder. self esteem problems etc. as an adult i yo yo diet too much. seriously there are times when i have a very nice body in which u can even see my abs and times when im a few pounds short of being labeled obese.
Lily
Perhaps it’s not always parents, but it starts with parents. If you take the responsibility to have a child, then you must take the responsibility to teach them about health and nutrition, among a hundred other things. Problem is, we’re not all perfect people, and just as some parents don’t teach kids about self-confidence, others don’t teach about health and nutrition.
I think the solution would be more outside help.
I live in Germany at the time, and when I had my baby last year, the federal commission for family welfare began sending monthly letters, usually 4 pages long.
Nothing dogmatic, just simple uncontroversial stuff. Nothing thing on how to rear your child, just ínfo on how to understand him/her. It includes info on the latest findings, when your child should start eating solids, what kinds of solids, and to make sure he/she has lots of supervised play time. These letters continue quarterly until the child turns 12.
It’s just a starting point, an initial guidance, but it’s been very, very helpful. I’d like to try an initiate something like that in the US. Would anyone like to help?
Sally
From the time my daughter started fast-fooding my grand-daughter, before she was 3 years old, family members begged her not to as my grand-daughter was already over weight. All we ever heard was “The doctor says shes fine, it’s only baby-fat, she’ll out grow it”. She is now 14, morbidly obese, very beautiful,and finally my daughter realizes it too late saying it is my grand-daughter’s fault, she won’t stop eating etc….
This is the mother’s fault.
Sally
P.S.
This is now causing my grand-daughter to have medical problems with her ankels as there is too much weight on them, etc… and she has been in a leg brace or cast for this problem!
My parents controled the amount of sweets coming into their home. Soda and candy were reserved for Xmas,Easter,Halloween etc…
We were allowed a few cookies or a small snack when we came home from school, with a glass of milk, but not after 4P.M.. This way it did not interfer with the “structured dinner hour”
We also went outside and PLAYED or did our HOMEWORK! I’m sure if there were cell phones and computers then they would either be monitored or locked away if we ABUSED them!
As my father would say quote “go outside and blow the stink off of you”
Too many parents never cook dinner because they are either too tired or too lazy! BOTH MY PARENTS cooked and I am sure they were both just as tired, after coming home from work,as parents now days.
I know,
“WHO CARES I DON’T”
Jenna
I personally have a problem with everyone wanting to assume that a parent is at fault. I have 4 children, all special needs. Two of them require medication that quells their appetite and I struggle every day to get them to eat. The other 2 require medication that leaves them hungry and craving food all day long. Although, I limit their calorie intake at home when they are at school or any other function for that matter they are constantly being given candy and snacks. The two that struggle with their weight are the most energetic and active kids I know. They play outside from the time they get home until dinner and then go back out on most days. They play organized sports and never drink sodas or pig out on junk food, yet they are still over weight. There are so many contributing factors the problems we face today. The chemicals in the food and the toxins in the air are causing asthma cases to rise to astronomical numbers. These children require medication to keep their lungs healthy but this same medication messes with their body regulations. It leaves them unable at times to sense when they are full and only leaves them craving more food. In addition, there are more and more children being put on medication for things like ADHD, Bi Polar disorder and Autism. Drugs that were never made for a child’s growing body are being prescribed every day. These drugs to terrible things to the body’s self regulation sensors, but for many there is no other choice if they want their child to function in society at all. The problem is a multi layer problem that can be traced back several generations, whether it is the parents that have a genetic disposition for obesity or the toxins we were exposed to causing our young to have more and more physical and mental health issues or even the lack of nutrition once they leave the house. I am sure for some it is a matter of just not eating right and exercising, but I believe for most it is a struggle that no matter what we do to battle our child’s obesity issues nothing seems to work. I have doctors telling me to feed one child ice cream and butter everything so they will gain some weight and the same doctor telling me to feed another nothing but celery for snack and low calorie meals that would send most kids running. These two children are twins, so how would you like to explain to these kids how this is fair!! Don’t be so quick to judge until you have looked from inside a persons window instead of standing outside and looking in.
Amanda
I think most of the time it is the parents fault. I had researched everything there is to know about nutriton and it didn’t cost me a thing. When i have childeren i will take more effort to eat healthy as a family. Of course i will eat fast food, but it will be limited. Kids should have excersize too, it doesn’t matter what kind of activity as long as they are moving. Also doing family activities together also help.
jennasue
Parents are 100% to blame. Take notice that the majority of those who say it isn’t the parents fault are probably obese parents or a parent of an obese child. I grew up in a home with obese parents who fed us junk food and soda all of the time. I was an active child and was able to stay healthy and was not overweight. Unfortunately my sister was not, and she ended up obese. When she was 12 years old she was diagnosed with pseudo tumor, caused by her excessive weight putting pressure on her optical nerve. It was swollen to the point where her eye doctor believed it was a real tumor. This should have been an eye opening experience for her and my parents but it was not. She is an adult now and still does not live a healthy lifestyle.
Now that I am a parent myself, I know how it may be easier to stop at the drive thru but the fact is that shopping at the grocery store and cooking the food at home is MUCH cheaper than the fast food restaurants. Skipping the soda, and the cookies is the best thing that I have done for my son. He has learned that drinking water and milk is good for him, we DO NOT give him soda or sugary juices. I have acutally gotten into fights with my parents over them alllowing my son to have soda.
There is an increasing number of children with Type 2 Diabetes due to childhood obesity. I believe it is a form of abuse and things will only get worse if parents are not held accountable.
Stephanie
I am an overweight mom who has 3 children, and I will be one the ones to say I think it is mostly the parents fault. However, there are situations and medications where there is nothing a parent can do but choose the right foods and the right amounts for their child and teach them the same and hope thats what they do when the parents aren’t around. Children have different body types just like adults and some are going to look fatter or skinnier because of their bone structure. My children one is skinny and short the other is tall for his age but stockier, however, he is not obese. I know that with my children it will be a fine line for the stockier one or he will wind up obese. The shorter skinny one, if he don’t get taller he will be obese. But I cannot change their body types or the health problems that keep the other one short. So what do I do? Try very hard to feed them healthy and keep an eye on their weight. I do think it is up to the parent to know what their child is eating at school, how many have ate lunch with their child?
sharice
While everyone is blaming the parents, it seems like we’ve forgotten the children and teenagers’ are disturbingly LAZY instead of playing sports outside the play madden or watch tv with friends instead of being active. After the age of like 10 a kid is old enough to decide wether to eat the twinkie or an apple. By the way even if there is no junk food in the house a kid can get junk food easily from a variety of places.
To be honest all my life I’ve eaten junk food lots of junk food and can’t remember the last time i ate a vegetable unless you include ketchup. I’ve also played sports my entire life and I’ve never been over weight in fact I’m quite thin and am very healthy. My sister however eats more healthy food than I do she could probably stand to lose a few pounds. She never played sports and ate bigger portions than I did.
Anyway the biggest cause for obesity is lack of exercise and lack of portion control because if you exercise than wether you eat 2000 calories from junk food or 2000 calories from healthy food you won’t get fat. Likewise eating healthy food is fine but if you eat 3000 calories worth you are going to gain weight and end up obese.
Melissa
While I realize child obesity is a serious problem, I’m concerned about legal ramifications for parents. Why stop with obesity then? Should parents be charged with negligence if their children are caught smoking, drinking, doing drugs, skipping school, etc., etc. Where does it end? This is particularly disturbing to me because my 10-year-old daughter is heavy, as I was at her age 25 years ago. We do not have video games in our home, she eats five servings of fruit and veggies each day, and she is active in softball and other sports. My hope is that she will eventually grow out of her weight problem when she hits puberty, as I did. Does all this make me an uncaring parent who should be charged with negligence? Ridiculous. This idea of having some sort of “fat police” just fits in with this growing tendency toward overregulation, which I find troubling. Not everyone will have a perfect body. That’s just the way it is. As long as you eat moderate portions of healthy foods and stay active, you’re doing the right thing.
mama
I have 3 children ranging in age 12-4 and yes I do beleive your childrens’ health is the responsiblity of the parent. However, “junk” food or fast food is the cheapest. My husband and I cook all our meals and our children rarely get fast food. But this year our household income decreased to one income. And we noticed that it was harder to feed our children the normal meals on a limited budget. So I wouldn’t be so hard on other parents, no parent wants to harm their child. We do what we can, finding the balance is hard. Mostly children can eat what they want but the real key is excerise, so if you can’t have a perfectly balanced meal MAKE THEM EXCERISE!!!!
Beth
I am a parent of three skinny children, and I really don’t think that I am doing anything different from parents who have overweight children. I try to give them a healthy diet, but sometimes we eat out, and sometimes we eat high fat food. I buy full-fat ice cream and I let my kids eat as much for desert as they want. It is easy to blame the parents of overweight children for their kid’s weight, but there are plenty of parents who don’t monitor their kid’s diet and still have thin kids. Maybe it is their metabolism. Maybe they get more exercise. Labeling parents of overweight children “abusive” is overly harsh. If we want to find a national cure for a situation that we recognize as a harmful national trend, we can’t really consider “blaming bad parents” to be a solution.
Bella
I beleive that in most cases, it is NOT the parents fault. Society is way too judgemental. I have 4 children and one who has a weight issue. Both parents are slim and healthy. All of our children are fed the same types of foods, (home-cooked meals) and cold lunches for school. (our daughter had stomach problems which went medically undetected for months, which led to about a 15 pound weight gain, which finally ended with surgery.) But I beleive that society is to blame for her continued weight gain of 10 more pounds because of the comments she was hearing daily. She became withdrawn and depressed. I even had parents comment on her weight gain. “Like wow, what happened to her, and wow she gained a lot of weight”. If parents can’t control their comments, how can their children learn to curve their tongues? I believe too many judgemental, uneducated points of views can lead an overweight person into low self esteem which can lead to eating disorders. It is NOT the parents causing this…it is society… from children at school to uneducated peoples comments. Too many people focus on superficial things instead of teaching their children values. I blame PARENTS for that. There are many different reasons a child/person has weight issues. Stop being so judgemental and try helping out an overweight person by treating them no differently than others. Read Jenna’s comments from April 29, 2009. She has twins that are opposite in weight…nothing the parents are doing can change that…that is just the way God made them.
goldilaux
Children will eat what their parents do. If mom & dad are eating high fat snacks, picking up fast food for dinner five times a week, and super-sizing to boot, then hey – guess what – so will the kids. If you consider THAT genetics, well then, YES, genetics play a part in childhood obesity.
I may not be able to control what my boys put in their mouths when they’re away from me (be it cheeseburgers, pizza, ice cream or gum they found under the table), but I am able to still control what they have at home.
I concentrate on what I CAN help them with, and encourage them to make good choices on their own. Because someday, they will be.
db
The parents first and then depending upon the child’s age they too have to take some responsibility. You can’t watch them 24/7 and if the parents aren’t teaching them the school are so there is no excuse. The simple fact is it is not a matter of money it’s parents being lazy. It’s easy to stop for fast food and sometimes it’s cheap but home cooked meals can be cheap and healthy. My mom did it with 4 kids and we had little money. I’m tired of everyone finding it’s someone else’s fault rather than take responsibility for themselves and their behavior. The want the government to take care of them and take the blame for allowing business to succeed. Grow up and take responsibility for yourself and your family. If you decide to have kids it’s you job to raise them, feed them, teach them etc. not the government’s job.
Sara
It is the parents fault! You have kids then they are YOUR responsibility. If they are eating crap at school then feed them stuff from home. The way we live our lives gets past down to our kids. We work 8 sometime 10 hour shifts and when we get home, the last thing we are thinking of is preparing a healthy Tofu diner with steamed veggies. We opt for the easy kill which is fast food. Take their x-box’s away and make them take 30 minutes of working out. Make them do homework then kick them out of the house until it starts to get dark outside then let them come in and wash up and go to bed. I think they use to call that being a kid. There may or may not be a game of hide and seek too but I forget… Oh and fat unhealthy adults usually have fat unhealthy kids!
Mark
I am 55 years old and I do not remember any fat kids when I was growing up. My Mother fed me the food of that time, meat, potatos, and veggies. Cooked with grease or lard. We had a bycycles we road everyday during the spring, summer and fall. We played football, baseball, basketball, army, taq, kick the can. We ran, jumped, climbed trees we fell a lot, or at least I did. We skined our knees we scraped our elbows and every now and then some kid would break their arm… We mowed the yard with a push mover not a riding mower. We ALL lived. Get the kids out of the house and in the yard to play. Off the computer and out of the house to play
Bethany
Im 15 years old and Im in high school… There are a lot of people at my school who are over-wieght and i know first hand that the majority of these people are made fun of. I know this because the people I used to hang out with talk about people constantly. People honestly, once you get to middle school most people ain a lot of wieght… it is very hard to eat school lunches every day and stay healthy especially if u dont excercise. The obesity tends to lean more towards girls than guys. I dont know why. it is a lot of the parents fault but they do teach health at school and kids know whats heathy by the time they reach middle school at that point, what they eat is mainly their own responsibility, dont put all the blame on parents and schools because thats like blaming a hair dresser for giving you the exact haircut u wanted but you dont like the way it looks its your fault for chosing that cut if you dont like it fix it. Children and teens need to step up and take some responsibility for themselves.. they arent totally helpless stop spoon feeding them or they will never learn to fend for them selves!!!
Brett Blumenthal
Bethany…Thank you. It is wonderful to have a teenagers perspective. And, I think you must be a very mature 15 year old to feel that your peers should take responsibility for their own health. I remember as a teenager, I was aware, but still, my mom sent me to school with lunch. That is a role/a priority parents should/can make to help their children eat well. Thanks again…
John
Blame the parents, fat stupid parents have fat stupid kids, its the American way, its very sad, however its true, I have relatives I want to strangle because of the unhealthy insane eating habits of their children, but in this politically correct world we live in, I am forced to be kept silent because everyone will just say im being an @$$hole. Overweight parents never do any kinds of physical activities with their kids, they drop them off at baseball or soccer and expect society to raise them. America is infested with people who expect the government or some other entity to take care of their problems, people need to take control of their lives for the childrens sake. We live in a society that tells us not to discipline our children but instead put them on drugs to “fix” the problem, I was your typical hyperactive ADD youngster growing up and through some butt whippings and mad respect for my mother and father everything worked out OK without any drugs. Kids today dont respect their parents, TV teaches them not to, just watch it with your kids and most programs show how smart the kids are and how dumb the parents are……but then again……maybe its a more accurate depiction than we think.